Its a really strange feeling, as if the world is zooming by and I’m still standing still. So many things have happened in life, too many hi and good byes. I’m feeling really small. Not that I’ve ever felt big but this whole waste of time and loneliness just grips on to me and sucks the enthusiasm about life. Lonely, not so because I lack friends but  rather it is a feeling deep down, that is just rather unsettling.

Perhaps its the meaning of life I’m missing. Perhaps I dont like being useless, the feeling of being wasted. For some reason, I seem to get tired more easily. I sleep earlier then when I was studying yet I still feel drained. I now appreciate so dearly, how hectic, fulfilling and well spent JC life was though seemingly painful.

I have no idea how much discipline I’ve lost. I have not read the papers for the past week although I had all the nights to myself.

I need to snap out of it.